Sometimes change happens to us, whether we are ready or not: we feel as though the past has disappeared behind us and has forced us into unfamiliar terrain. Sometimes changes happen through us, as we become more comfortable with who we are and find it necessary to change the world around us to fit truths about ourselves beginning to emerge. Learning how to navigate these changes responsibly requires developing different kinds of skills than what are often taught in schools. Daniel Boscaljon’s ability to listen, ask, discern, and reflect allow him to provide a rare mirror in one-on-one conversations that allow you to focus in on your wisest, most confident self.
Carl Jung discussed the opportunities that arise with the second half of life. The journey of the first half involves the cultural milestones that have become a default set of guidelines that constitute a “normal” life. These include a college degree, owning a home and a vehicle, getting a job, finding a spouse, perhaps raising pets and children. This path encourages you to work hard so that you can ultimately retire and enjoy leisure.
This path does not work for everyone.
Sometimes people notice early in life that the major milestones that others celebrate feel empty. From the beginning, they work hard to find an alternative to college life or a career. Some people prefer asking questions rather than accepting answers. Some people are born wanting to experience moments as they are without trying to make them perfect.
Sometimes, we only learn the importance of sidestepping the drive to control only when even our best efforts do not result in the realization of our dreams or when, having accomplished them, we need a new kind of goal. Living longer allows us to outgrow our first set of dreams—the ones that we accept from our surroundings about what constitutes a good life—and allows us a second chance to pursue a life of wisdom and presence.
You may hear people use the term “mid-life crisis” to describe when these questions surface. Perhaps feeling secure crept into feeling imprisoned, or questions long repressed become impossible to avoid. Perhaps you’ve already completed the bucket list of your life, check by check. These feelings and questions might feel terrifying or horrifying because they threaten the security of the life you have made.
Coffee with Dan Personal Conversations provide a set of structures designed to take the questions seriously, make space for change, and create a confident life. The goal is openness to an appropriate, responsible, flourishing life that avoids self-destruction caused by clinging to fears or desires. You will learn the resources that will allow you to hear and act upon your intuition, the voice of your true self. This lets you live into the question with curiosity and courage rather than avoidance and fear. Resolving these questions by living toward them will provide you with a new foundation for acting confidently.
Daniel’s approach differs from many therapeutic models. Therapists perform an important work, frequently focusing on helping to reconcile past traumas that interrupt one’s ability to live well in the present. One of Daniel’s primary personal strengths, which he has developed through his academic training, is to listen to what is said and to understand the essence of what is communicated: he translates you to yourself, hearing what is unsaid and asking questions around what seem to be blocks.
Coffee With Dan Personal Conversations look at the present from the perspective of the future. The task is to uncover your intuitions about your future and to learn how to equip yourself to realize them. This work complements work done in traditional therapies without contradicting or replacing them. Daniel’s desire is to help you allow a qualitative shift in your self-understanding that will generate more calm. more peace, and more joy—a thoughtful life.
Daniel Boscaljon has always had an interest in spirituality, psychology, and the quest for a fulfilling life. In addition to being an ordained minister in the Universal Life church, Daniel also has a Ph.D. in Religious Studies (focused on agnosticism) and a Ph.D. in American Literature. In addition to teaching experience in English, Religion, Philosophy, and Rhetoric departments, Daniel has worked with a wide range of students. These range from high school debaters to pre-law students, from first year college freshman to prison inmates, from evangelical Bible studies to senior citizens. Daniel has also worked as a lecturer, professional consultant, trainer, editor, and interviewer. His process builds on his educational background, but also reflects a personal commitment to living a life of integrity. You can hear how Daniel approaches life by listening to and exploring The Thoughtful Life, currently on Instagram (@thethoughtfullife42), or in listening to his first series of meditative workshops in the form of a podcast, Making Space for Yourself. You can also read more about his application of these goals in his bio: danielboscaljon.com/about.